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Impossible Love: Or Why the Heart Must Go Wrong, by Jan Bauer
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Some love affairs mark our lives forever. Whether we call them la grande passion, tragic romance, or l'amour fou, they remain indelible because they are impossible. Why do we fall in love at the wrong time, in the wrong place, and with the wrong person? Why do we put up with the anxiety, the pain, the shame, and the longing never fulfilled?
This brilliant book explores the nature of these "marvelous disasters" and finds a deeper necessity in the betrayals, taboos, and excesses of impossible love. Using perhaps the greatest of all tragic romances-the passion between Héloise and Abelard-as a psychological scaffold, Jan Bauer examines the erotic structures of irresistible attraction with love stories from the lives of men and women today. This is an exceptional study of love's chaotic mystery.
Jan Bauer, author of Women and Alcoholism, is a Jungian analyst in private practice in Montreal. She holds degrees from Zürich, Boston, and Paris and has taught in Tunisia as well as the University of Montreal. She has served as chair of Admissions as well as Training Director for the Inter-Regional Society of Jungian Analysts. Bauer is currently President of the Association of Jungian Psychoanalysts of Quebec.
- Sales Rank: #749492 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Echo Point Books Media
- Published on: 2013-06-06
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.50" h x .46" w x 5.51" l, .56 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 216 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Most helpful customer reviews
17 of 18 people found the following review helpful.
Wrong Love, Right LIfe
By A Customer
Although momongamy is heralded as a pillar of societal stability, Jan Bauer delves into the reality that love cannot be confined to moralistic prognostications nor legislative pronunciations. Bauer concentrates on why love affairs happen, without judgment of those who enter into one. This book is sorely needed by those who find themselves in an affair beyond their control and by those who feel victimized or betrayed by someone else's love affair. It brings a rational understanding and clarity to an unseemingly irrational occurence. It may not lessen the pain, but it goes a long way to help in the healing process.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
ANY impossible Love...
By SJK
This book is brilliant and unfortunately out of print. It discusses what makes "Impossible Love" impossible to live, impossible to understand, impossible to give up, and impossible to forget. Impossible Love relationships hold a tension of opposites... loyalty to love and it's impossibility in an outer life.... Married/unmarried, teacher/student, doctor/patient, therapist/client, old/young, among others. The book discusses why we might stay in a relationship that brings chaos, confusion or pain long after we realize it is time to move on. In the past, these relationships were called "tragic, romantic, doomed". Today they are called "a neurosis, an addiction, or a projection". Impossible love "jolts us into awareness" through it's pain and hopefully brings a depth and meaning to our true Self in the process of healing.
This book will not provide solutions nor answers. It WILL provide insight into the involvement of the psyche in these relationships through the lens of jungian psychology and archetypes. This perspective helps explain why they are such painful relationships. Why they seem to take over our life as we once knew it. Why the 'ups' seem almost euphoric and the 'downs' feel devastating and these extremes seem to cycle. The author sheds light on the meaning of these relationships... ie. "What for?" "Why now?" "Why me?"
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Must Reading if You Are in an Untenable Romantic Interest or Thinking About One
By Margaret Thompson
I first learned of this book from a friend who is a well respected therapist. She told me a friend of hers who was also a highly regarded therapist that become obsessed with an old boyfriend she reconnected with at a high school reunion. She was happily married at the time, but couldn't get the old flame out of her mind. Then she read Impossible Love and it freed her from the obsession. She highly recommended the book.
I got a copy and started reading it, but couldn't get it to it, as it was too dry--UNTIL, I became--or almost became--involved with someone else. Then, I picked it up again and could see why she was so impressed with this book. I saw the deep wisdom that must have come (she doesn't say) from the author's own involvement with an impossible love relatiionship. The book still isn't a page turner, but when you're in the grip of thinking about someone else or involved in an "impossible" relationship (defined as one that doesn't work for taboo reasons, such as you're married or it's a teacher and a student), it gets you thinking and looking at what is driving the relationship and you in fresh ways. I've been in therap--both couples and individual--am a big reader, and done years of spiritual practice, and still this book was helpful and interesting.
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