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In The Meantime : Finding Yourself And The Love You Want, by Iyanla Vanzant
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Most of us go through life with a vision of what the ideal relationship is supposed to be, yet too often our longing for a soul mate leads to disappointment and heartbreak. What we see, desire, or harshly judge in our mate is but a reflection of self, Vanzant explains, as in IN THE MEANTIME she helps us to break free of our fantasies and view a relationship as an ongoing process of discovery and growth. Whether she is offering practical advice on how to avoid making the same relationship mistakes over and over again, or helping us to view the painful end of a relationship as an opportunity to learn and change, Iyanla Vanzant, as author Patrice Gains has said, 'reminds us that every moment is an opportunity to learn and inspires and encourages us to continue our inward daily search'.
- Sales Rank: #2114375 in Books
- Brand: SIMON & SCHUSTER AUDIO
- Published on: 1999-08-01
- Ingredients: Example Ingredients
- Formats: Abridged, Audiobook
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 2
- Dimensions: 5.00" h x .50" w x 6.00" l,
- Running time: 7200 seconds
- Binding: Audio CD
Amazon.com Review
What is the meantime? According to author and inspirational speaker Iyanla Vanzant, being in the "meantime" means being in a state of limbo. "When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or how to leave, you are in the meantime," she explains. Rather than wallow in confusion, Vanzant encourages you to use the meantime as an opportunity to prepare yourself for true love. The first order of business is to clean house, starting with the basement--the place in the psyche where you store your most destructive thoughts. Room by room, Vanzant takes you through a metaphorical cleaning of the soul. This way, when your meantime days are over and love finally comes knocking on the front door, you'll have a clean house to welcome love into.
From Library Journal
Self-help counselor Vanzant talks about creative and honest use of the "meantime" between relationships to help women (and men) avoid repeating unproductive behaviors of the past. She uses the metaphor of a house, starting in the basement with "willingness" and acknowledging that one has a problem. Next is the first floor, to identify the nature of the problem. On the second floor is trust, what to do about the problem. Finally, on the third floor, one "learns how to do what you know." That is, one possesses the inner resources to overcome the tendency to repeat past responses to situations. Vanzant reads this abridgment of her work with a tone that conveys empathy and no-nonsense, this-is-good-for-you advice. For self-help collections in public libraries.ANann Blaine Hilyard, Lake Villa Dist. Lib., IL
Copyright 1999 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Booklist
Vanzant has written another powerful book on positive thinking. As one of the foremost female inspirational authors--her books include Acts of Faith (1993) and The Value in the Valley (1995), she inspires women to deal with themselves as they search for their soul mate. This empowering book about relationships details how the pursuit of love is often unpleasant. Vanzant focuses on dispelling storybook fantasies about love and relationships in order to discover one's self. Her premise is based on the adage that you cannot love someone else until you know and love yourself. The steps for self-reflection that are outlined begin with enjoying and learning from the "meantime," that period of time between seeking love and finding love. Vanzant presents a series of survival tidbits for the African American woman that are well worth following. Lillian Lewis
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
It didn't get better. I certainly believe birth trauma that directly caused
By Lily
"Birth trauma" in the sense of the emotional experiences of the newborn human carrying over into permanent subconscious problems throughout their adult lives is utter nonsense. The moment I read that, a red flag came up so vividly I almost contacted Amazon for a refund but decided to keep reading. It didn't get better. I certainly believe birth trauma that directly caused, say, brain injury would be relevant to one's development, but otherwise, the circumstances of where and how you were born, simply has nothing to do with how one behaves in romantic relationships. To claim so based on nothing but a hunch is what we call "woo"; unscientific, hippy dippy drivel. And this is coming from someone who read Ina May, used a midwife twice, once in a birth center, with no medication and no interventions in order to protect the natural birth process, which I believe is a perfectly healthy and normal experience in the average mother-baby duo with no extenuating factors. Not because a kid born via c section is going to, what, burst through walls like the Kool Aid man for the rest of his life because his birth trauma prevents him from opening doors. Very few births, now or ever, took place on a rainbow farted out of a unicorn with dolphins as midwives and Jesus massaging the perineum. That's another thing- atheists and agnostics are f$&@ed. No atheist or agnostic can possibly have a great romantic relationship because they can't love themselves because they haven't accepted God's love for them. Period end of story.
Pop psych, woo babble about hypothetical oversimplified relationships between stupid people, none of which remotely applied to any I've been in.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Taameir
I've always been a open minded person, that is willing to change my perspective of life every chance I have. This book played a huge part in my life, helping me to recognize where I stand in love's house for myself. I realized how much I do love myself, how its not about the problems, not about the stress, the difficulty to get by, if you love yourself and all that you surround yourself with everything eventually just falls into place making your state of mind to be pure unconditional love (the attic). I found myself to be in the third floor for majority of my life, and just recently worked my way up to the top and really appreciate everything and everyone. to completely find myself and be satisfied with what the world has to offer. when you come across that stage, you notice that all the other people that feel that way towards life start to change their perspective. This book just opened a whole knew door for me. I'm young, but there's been so much going on in my life since I was 10 that this book helped me get through "my stuff", clean out my house and get everything straightened out.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Get this book!!
By Mookie1
Book arrived on time from Amazon. All I can say is WOW!!! This book really helps you to understand the ups and downs of relationships. I just recently left a 15 year relationship and was quite depressed. Every day I experienced anxiety and stress so much so that I had to get a customized mouth guide to protect my teeth from nightly teeth grinding. A friend of mine recommended this book to me. After I started reading it I couldn't put the book down and I read it in four nights which is fast for me as I am not much of a book reader. The author lets you know that life is mostly about choices that we make and why we tend to make the same mistakes over and over again. We after to understand that first and foremost we have to first love ourselfs which is not always easy considering our upbringing and all the negative forces that surround us. I could go on and on about what I believe this book as opened my eyes to!! GET the book and you to will learn how happy we all can be.
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